The Masquerade

It finally happened. The truth came out. I am not the person I once was. Every day is different. I carry faces in my backpack. One for choir, one for volleyball, one for work. The list goes on. I pulled out my favorite last night. The one that does what she wants. She wrote a song and posted it online. Everyone in her life stayed the same. No matter what face she chose to put on, they stayed the same. She never stayed the same, because she knew the truth. At school dances, she would sway and turn by herself. Outings were always similar. Smile, laugh and act like you blend.


The Masquerade is over. One day the lights went out. The truth slowly started to seep from the walls. Everyone was running and screaming. If the truth came out, what would they do? They would have to acknowledge the damage they have done. Scary, isn’t it? To know that you hurt someone. To know that they couldn’t forget. It was carved into their minds. She sat there, watching all the madness. A smile was on her face. People try to make nice. She isn’t nice anymore. They broke her. Every inch of kindness and strength she had was spent. Eventually, she would cry every day, without anyone knowing. She would scream where no one could hear her. They are screaming now. Now that she has found peace. She writes with ink from her veins.

She dances while tears stream from her eyes. She walks on her broken pieces.


The Masquerade is over. People scatter as she reaches for help. No one wants to claim what they lost. She walks through the dusty halls. The theater is covered in cobwebs. The stage is empty. She takes a bow and begins her song. Dancing to a melody she imagined. People cover their ears and block out the noise. The monsters crawl out from under the bed. The pictures slowly come to life. Everyone takes advantage of blissful ignorance. Once you know something, it's hard to forget. One more step is all it takes. She is so close to reaching the edge. Everyone pulls her away, but she is toeing the line. Everyone has revealed themselves. They try to save face, but it is impossible. The thing about saving face is, you have to have one. No one has a face anymore. She only sees darkness. The same dark figures everywhere she goes.


The Masquerade is over. I pulled off the mask and remembered where I was. She would go away for now. They aren't ready to meet her. The real me. She can be kind of scary. Sometimes I forget how crazy I sound. The voices in my head remind me where I am. I am at work. I smile and pretend that everything is OK. Later, I will return home to my family. I will forget that I am alone, and forget who I really am. The darkness and scary creatures will retreat. They will return again sometime. They are my companions. They comfort me. They remind me of the plans I have. It's nice to forget them sometimes. So, for now, I will keep it a secret. This is between you and me. I don’t think you’re ready for the rest of the truth. After all, the Masquerade is never over.

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