The Good Days

The good days are my favorite.

They are sunshine, shorts, and smiles.

They happen when I least expect it.

I get so happy when they come to visit.

Most days I feel restless.

I feel like I am never doing enough.

The feeling persists in a way that is unfathomable.

I tap my foot, I walk, I turn in my chair.

Most days I feel a twinge of sadness.

I feel like there is always something to be sad about.

The feeling inches its way around in my chest.

I watch funny videos, I make jokes, I force a smile.

Most days I feel paranoid.

I feel like I’m worried about something, always.

The feeling makes me overthink any situation.

I try to make conversation, I move around, I tell myself it's alright.

But, the good days.

They bring emotions I long to feel.

They make me feel like I could do anything.

I get so happy when they come to visit.

Every once in a while I feel relaxed.

I feel like I can sit back and breathe.

The feeling allows me to become one with the earth.

I do yoga, I empty my mind, I can fall asleep.

Every once in a while I feel happy.

I feel like everything has beauty in it.

The feeling allows me to smile at anything.

I enjoy the sunshine, I laugh harder than normal, I feel whole.

Every once in a while I am confident.

I feel like I don’t need anyone.

The feeling allows me to not second guess myself.

I can take part in social events, I can use my voice, I am free.

The good days are the best days.

They remind me that I am valid, and the choices I’ve made are good ones.

They remind me that I am going to be ok.

I get so happy when they come to visit.

Most days I feel rejected.

I feel like everyone is judging me.

The feeling makes me picture different scenarios, for different encounters.

I worry, I keep to myself, I plan.

Most days I feel like an awful friend.

I feel like I have lost every friend I know.

The feeling reminds me that I don’t know how to interact with people.

I don’t call, I don’t text, I keep to myself.

Most days I feel alone.

I feel like I have no one to talk to.

The feeling causes me to feel even emptier than before.

I don’t talk, I talk to myself, I wander.

But, the good days.

They remind me that my family is always there for me.

They are brief.

I get so happy when they come to visit.

Every once in a while I feel inspired.

I feel like I can write an amazing song.

The feeling allows me to play my guitar better than ever.

I sing, I dance, I write.

Every once in a while I feel energized.

I feel like I can run, and never get tired.

The feeling allows me to do what I’ve been meaning to.

I run, I clean, I give.

Every once in a while I feel complete.

I feel like I have everything I need in life.

The feeling comes with my family and a stranger’s kindness.

I can forgive, I can forget, I make friends.

This only a peek at what the good days are.

They are the light that reveals the darkness.

They allow me to let go of the past.

I can’t wait for them to visit again.