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I Confess

1) I sit and watch cartoons when I am at home.

Sometimes the type of cartoon varies. One day I will be watching Bob's Burgers and the next I'm watching the original Pokemon. I also love watching Spongebob and other childhood shows if I can. I would rather sit and watch cartoons than go out for the night. I can't help it. Please send help.

2) I am a  Swiftie.

Yes, I am admitting it out loud. I know the words to all her songs. I have loved Taylor Swift since I was younger, and she first started. She was the first concert I ever went to. On the weekend of my 15th birthday I got to see her on her Speak Now World Tour. That is when I decided I wanted to be a musician. I will be seeing her the weekend of my 22nd birthday this October at Cowboys Stadium. I'm excited.

3) I have two celebrity crushes. Only two.

As of right now, I have massive crushes on the 1975's Matty Healy and 5 Second of Summer's Luke Hemmings. I have no idea why I like them, but I do find them pretty attractive. If I ever met them I would deny such a thing. By then I'll be over it. But, hey, I guess you could say I like a guy with a cute accent.

4) I listen to emo music.

When I am not jamming to Taylor Swift, I spend my time listening to what my sister classifies as emo music. I listen to a lot of alternative and pop music. Granted, some of what I listen to can be called "emo." But, I am going to Warped Tour this summer. See you there! (Winky Face)

5) I never wear makeup. Or at least, I never wear a lot of it.

I buy makeup because I love to sit and play with it. That's about it.  I'll wear mascara, brows, highlight, and concealer on a regular basis. Not in that order. I do own at least ten lipsticks, and enough foundation and face products to last me two years, but I never use it. I have two nice eye palettes because I like swatching the colors. They're pretty. Makeup is fun to play with, not to wear.

6)I have to force myself to post on social media.

Even though this is a job I want, when it comes to my own profiles, I am one to struggle with content. Even coming up with blog posts can be hard for me. I mean, what is there to talk about? Today all I did was go to work. I wrote a song and sat in bed reading a good book. Yay. Not exactly stuff I want to share with the world. Usually, I find artsy pictures that I have taken and post those. The secret is out.

7) I am an awful friend.

I hate being the one to say it. But, it's true. I am never one to communicate unless it's face to face. When it comes to making plans, usually people have to text me first. This stems from when I was younger and people used me as someone to hang around. And, my social anxiety issues. I always have this "What if they don't really like me? I'm annoying." attitude. Most of my friends I see every once in a while because I'm too chicken to ask them to hang out.  Once they don't respond to a couple texts for a while or keep canceling on me, I give up.

8) I can be a diva.

Everyone thinks the world revolves around their own lives and their own experiences. I am no exception. I sometimes wish I wasn't this way, but recently I started actually liking myself. Not the "I'm better than you" attitude, but the cutting out people who do nothing but use me. I started loving myself and discovering who I wanted to be. Started becoming a better person. Sadly, that means losing people and being concerned with me more than I'm concerned with others.

9) I struggle with Social Anxiety and Depression.

This relates to being an awful friend. I don't party, and even when I go to parties I can be standoffish. I can be outgoing when I want to, but for the most part, I like to keep to myself. The thought of letting a lot of people close to me terrifies me. I don't want people close because I get too afraid that they won't like what they see. I also can be quite the downer. The "I don't want to do anything, leave me alone" kind. I compulsively clean and feel uncomfortable when I go through depressed states. This causes me to stay home and take baths/ clean the house, or force myself to go places so I don't have to think about it. Fun times.

10) I like making lists.

If you have been here awhile, you know I make a lot of lists. I think it's a fun way for you guys to get to know me, without knowing me. Plus, they are easier to write than actual blog posts. You get the jist of things. I don't like going into detail about one event. I have too short an attention span for that. Hope you enjoyed this. If there is anything you want to know more about, let me know.

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